I am going back over the days I missed since my mom passed and I realized that it is not really that hard to come up with stuff to write about. One of the things I struggle with is sticking to this self-prescribed diet of eating only on the weekends, and protein shakes & v8 during the week. Yesterday I got to 4PM and was doing good, then just for some reason said fuck it and stuffed myself. No real rhyme or reason, but today I have to start all over again. What I need to do, I think, is that when I get an actual hunger that I cannot ignore I should just have a shake or a juice and try that before succumbing to the hunger. Not that it is easy at all, if it was I would just do it. Rather, it’s a matter of mind over matter. I know that I physically am getting what I need with liquid, but I am a fat and always want to eat when I am stressed or whatever. A popular saying I have is “one of these days I’ll do it” but we all know that is bullshit. I won’t.

I will either do it right now or never.